The Golden Globes (non) Fashion

Whooop! The award season is on well on its way and The Golden Globes happened this gone weekend. The mini Oscars or whatever. I am not one for the actually awards, the only thing that interest me is the fashion. Here is my FLD (Fashion Low Down) on The Golden Globes!

Anne Hathaway

Starting with her as just seen her latest movie “Love and other drugs”, which by the way was adorable. She is quickly becoming one of my favorite actresses and usually impresses tenfold and must admit, she didn’t disappoint! Loving the metallic sleekness of the dress. Suits her skin color amazingly well. Plus she has clearly been watching America’s Next Top Model, as she is modeling from H2T. Fabulous all around. AND the dress is totally backless. Always excites me. Like Hilary Swank few years back at The Oscars. Very stylish choice. My makeup expert commented on the lipstick being very middle aged, but to be honest at 20 something she is middle aged in Hollywood! A

Christina Hendricks

I should be pleased that she is finally covering up those beach balls that are attached to her chest. I wonder how she sleeps and not get smothered by her own GIANT breasts. She must have some sort of scaffolding to prevent suffocation, right? Anyway. On this pic she looks a little stunned, like someone is poking her from behind. Matching your blush with your dress color, isn’t a good idea in most cases and she looks little flushed (perhaps from the poking). Not loving the dress. Just happy she is strapped in, for once. C

Jennifer Lopez

J.Lo clearly missed the memo of the canceled mosquito warning. I mean really. Glittery mosquito net for The Golden Globes? You can leave with Megan. Nice dress thou. B+

Natalie Portman

Now, I am not trying to be rude. She is pregnant, so have to be nice. I wish she would have tried harder. Shoes are amazing. Good for her for teetering on 7 inch heels despite be stomach heavy. The dress isn’t revolting, but the shade of pink/peach/ white (what eves) is complete washing her out. Loving the red accessories and the red lip. Can you imagine if the dress was the red of her purse? Now that would have been amazing. I long for the days when she had a shaved head and fierce eyes. C-

Catherine Zeta Jones (Bless her for coming) D

Leighton Meester

Ooooh. Loving her looking like a doll from few centuries back. I obviously don’t watch Gossip Girl (far too young for my liking), but she is rocking this dress left-tight-centre. Nice to see she has kept it all covered and still looking incredible. Hair is working, simple makeup. Just gorgeous. Trying to find something negative, perhaps a little bland? She could have spiced it up a little with a colorful bracelet or so. Hmmmm. No, pretty darn perfect as it is. Shoes look ridiculous, which is a huge plus. I adore ridiculous shoes. A

Amy Adams

I get her and some other twinklet confused. Not sure if Amy is the one I like or the other, whose name has gone out the window. So, dark blue with little grey mixed in. Loves it. The ruffles are awesome. This is the right way to do ruffles. Not too many so you get lost in them, not too few as then there is no impact. Having said that, what is going on with her face? She was clearly sewn into her dress in the limo and then there was no time for makeup. Quick tip Amy, next time. Keep tinted moisturizer, lip gloss, mascara and bronzer in your teeny purse, so you won’t end up looking washed out. Spanks. B

Carrie Underwood

Can you spell DULL? This girl is like 12, right? She has a body to die for, gorgeous smile and great hair plus a good tan. What does she decide to wear? Beige dullness. She looks about double her age. I am truly not impressed. Maybe it’s difficult to get a dress as she isn’t all that famous outside Country Music scene.
But FFS, she did win American Idol. I expected more. B-

Sandra Bullock

Loving the fringe. It is a little severe, but suits her. She has become a little more edgy. The dress is divine. She isn’t flashing leg nor boob and keeping it all covered. Which is most likely the best way to go on after hideously public break up. I don’t believe in the “show them what they are missing” thing. Keep your head up high, look fierce and so forth. She looks great, her son will be pleased to see this when he is old enough to understand his stylish mom. She did adopt a boy? Right? Ps. Eat Shit Jesse! A-

Christina Aguilera

Oh no. She has not managed to lose the baby fat as seen on Xfactor. Shame. The dress fits her nicely. Really does and it isn’t really all that bad. I am just being mean. What annoys me about Miss Beautiful is that hair. The platinum was great for the first year she sported it. Now it looks like nylon. Not pretty. The red lips is great, but as she has been sporting that too for a long time, it’s getting a little dull. In all honesty, it isn’t all that bad. I am just bored of her. B

Eva Longoria

Another one that is boring me. We all know that she is a stunning young woman. Truly. It’s all working for her, pocket size hot mess. Totes. However, if she wear another fishtail gown again in the next two weeks I will explode and that won’t be pretty. The shape suits her. She carries big glamorous dresses really well, even thou she is only like 3 feet tall. She looks great. BUT I AM BORED! Stop being so safe, push the boat out a little. Wear a shape we are not used seeing you in. Be a little daring. Go on Eva, get lively. C

Angelina Jolie

I am in two minds about this one. Now the color is amazeballs. This shade of emerald green suits very few people. Didn’t think it would look so good on Angelina, but turns out it does. Love it truly. The only issues I have is that the shape of the dress is a little Golden Girls. Something that southern whore may have worn. Shame really. I think the back of the dress upsets me. Other than that, gorgeous hair, makeup is spot on. She could be wearing a ring or two. The again, having Brad on your side might be enough on the accessories front. B+

Megan Fox

Only natural placing Megan after Angelina, I am 100% they were separated at birth, albeit 15 years apart. Now, Megan gets it very right so very often. However, this time. Epic fail. She should play on the fact that she looks like a sex kitten draped in leather. Has she gone more edgy, she would have been top of my list. This pink, silver, glittery disco gown is hideous. Thank you for coming, now please leave. D-

Lea Michele

OMG! Did someone see pink and then run with it? Her stylist thought it would be a good idea to dress her in meters of discounted nylon, use super glue and staples to make ruffles and then called her fierce. Bless her for believing screaming gays. She only gets to wear cardigans on Glee, so she must have been excited. I don’t understand how she can make her Louboutin’s seem cheap? B

Helena Bonham Carter

I don’t know where to start. The American folk go gaga for her, she is quirky, funny and just a little strange and good for her. However, somethings should not be worn. Like the shoes. Seriously. I know its all Westwood and therefore I should be praying for forgiveness. But no. I don’t like it. There I said it. Sue me. B-
Phew. I am done with this. I cant look at another dress without puking. I wanted to see amazing fashion and got served with very average style. Please stars of the telly box and big screen. Next time, lets try little harder. Thanks very much.

A very disappointed Msalonen (